By Brendi & John B Wells
Imagine, if you will, a single government ruling over the entirety of Earth, a scenario where the concept of nations is as outdated as a dial-up modem. Here’s how it might play out if it ran like pro wrestling’s kayfabe:
The Grand Entrance: Every world leader would have their own theme music, striding into the Global Assembly with the pomp of wrestlers entering the ring. Picture the leader of what used to be France doing a pirouette while the former UK PM struts in with a bowler hat, throwing it to the crowd.
The Heel Turn: Every few years, there could be a dramatic betrayal where a popular region or former nation “turns heel” by announcing a sudden but staged secession attempt, only for it to be quashed in a spectacular summit, complete with chair-throwing negotiations (all for show, of course).
The Tag Teams: Countries would form alliances, not based on geography or ideology, but on who can put on the best show. “The Transatlantic Titans” vs. “The Eurasian Enigmas”, where the matches are trade negotiations, and the winner gets to host the next World Fair.
The Championship Belt: Instead of boring old diplomacy, global disputes would be thrown into the “UN Thunderdome” where leaders hash it out with gladiatorial flair. Here, economic sanctions are just the warm-up act; the real headline is the “Battle Royale for Budget Bloat”. The grand prize? The coveted “Globe Girdle”, a blinged-out belt that grants the victor the right to lead the next big war – because nothing says ‘peacekeeping’ like a good old-fashioned conflict. This year’s hot topic: Who gets to “liberate” resources under the guise of fighting climate change or spearhead the “defense” against rogue asteroids. Why? Because war isn’t just good for business; it’s the ultimate in population control chic, ensuring the surveillance state’s budget stays as bloated as a parade balloon, all while keeping those pesky population numbers in check. After all, why solve problems when you can dramatize them?
The Scripted Drama: In the “Parliament of Pandemonium”, policies are cooked up in clandestine cloakrooms but are showcased as spur-of-the-moment revelations, complete with dramatic monologues and surprise betrayals. The twist? The audience, our dear citizens, are so bamboozled by a kaleidoscope of propaganda that they can’t tell reality from reality TV. They’re vaccinated, agitated, and perpetually captivated by the spectacle of their own subjugation. Between pandemics and panic, they’re fed a steady diet of fear, keeping them glued to their screens, watching:
• The Hunger Games of economic collapse, where only the most entertaining starve.
• The Great Work-Till-You-Drop Marathon, where the finish line is a hospital bed… if you’re lucky.
• The Surveillance Series, where everyone’s a star in their own Truman Show, except nobody gets to leave.
• The Brainwash Bonanza, where critical thinking is out, and compliance is in, all broadcast live!
• The Overmedication Olympics: Where every citizen wins a gold medal in prescription pill popping, competing for the title of “Most Chemically Balanced.” The events include speed syringe, the antidepressant steeplechase, and the ever-popular sedative marathon, where the goal is to stay awake while dosed up to the eyeballs. Remember, in this game, it’s not about curing anything; it’s about managing symptoms until the next refill!
• The Diet Dystopia Derby: Welcome to the culinary chaos where the menu features genetically modified, artificially flavored, and nutritionally void “food-like” substances. Contestants vie for the title of “Iron Stomach” by consuming the most bizarre food concoctions, like algae-based smoothies, insect protein bars, and soda that changes flavor with your mood. Here, the hunger isn’t for nutrients but for anything that resembles real food, making starvation a spectacle of gastronomic endurance.
In this grand circus, the citizens aren’t just spectators; they’re unwitting participants in a global performance where the script is dystopia, and the stage is set for endless drama. They watch, they suffer, but hey, at least it’s all spectacularly entertaining, right?
The Commentators: News channels would act like sports commentators, analyzing every move with exaggerated excitement. “Oh, and there goes Switzerland with a neutral uppercut in the trade debate! But wait, here comes Brazil with the environmental flip!”
The Fans: Citizens, unaware it’s all a show, would pick their favorite ‘wrestlers’, attend summits like they’re wrestling events, complete with signs, chants, and merchandise. Voting would be akin to cheering for your favorite wrestler, knowing full well the outcome might be predetermined but engaging for the love of the spectacle.
The Underdog Story: Occasionally, a small nation, let’s say, Bhutan, could have its ‘Cinderella moment’, where against all odds, it wins a major debate, leading to a surge in global ‘Bhutanmania’.
In this world, the line between politics and entertainment blurs into nonexistence, making global governance the greatest show on Earth. Political engagement would skyrocket, not because everyone believes in the process, but because everyone loves a good show. And in the spirit of kayfabe, even when the curtain falls, the act never really ends; it just evolves into the next storyline.
To those awakening to their own mind, voice, and values amidst the noise: You are not alone. Each step you take towards understanding and authenticity is a victory, no matter how small it may seem. Your voice, once found, has the power to resonate with others, creating echoes of change. Remember, it’s never too late to stand for what you believe in. Your newfound clarity is a beacon; it can guide not only your path but also light the way for others. Keep questioning, keep speaking, and let your values be your compass. The world needs the unique perspective only you can offer. Rise, speak, and act, for in your awakening lies the seed of transformation. – JBW
Uhmmm – Cosmic Kayfabe right here.. cough-cough..
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Excellent article, I’m glad to see there are still critical thinkers out there.