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Biden to Draft Women, But Promises “No Booties on the Ground”


In a passive-aggressive effort to cross Vladimir Putin’s red lines without really crossing them, President Biden has announced that the US will begin drafting women and sending them to the Ukraine war front.

On its face, the move would seem to cross a Russian “red line.” Moscow has made it clear that if the US sends active-duty troops to fight for Ukraine, Russia will unleash its doomsday weapon: a set of dozens of 2M-39 drone torpedos carrying the world’s most powerful nuclear bombs. The bombs will explode underwater, creating 800-foot-high radioactive tsunamis that will permanently eliminate North America, except for a couple of ski areas in the Rocky Mountains. (Experts disagree about whether the best civil defense equipment is surfboards or skis.)

Biden obviously doesn’t want that. So in an attempt to not really cross Russia’s red line even as he crosses it, the Hairsniffer-in-Chief insists that there will be “no booties on the ground.”


But how can Biden send American women to the Ukraine war front without putting “booties on the ground”?  According to Administration sources, the answer involves Northrup Grumman’s new RQ-66 Killer Chick drone. Like the RQ-4 Global Hawk, the RQ-66 Killer Chick is designed to stay aloft for extended periods. But unlike the Global Hawk, the Killer Chick can be adapted to manned—or rather womanned—flight. Its underside features comfortable yet durable perfumed straps, made of exotic laces and leathers and adorned with gold and silver spangles and faux-jewelry, designed to attach scantily-clad women to the underside of the drone…


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