She Blossoms 
Can you forgive your husband after the affair and rebuild trust in your marriage? The short answer is yes, forgiveness is possible! You can learn how to trust your husband again – even if he was involved in a long-term affair. The long answer is that rebuilding trust takes time, patience, and a conscious choice to forgive.
“My husband cheated on me with his coworker, who has since left the company,” says Lisa on When Your Husband Still Works With His Ex Affair Partner. “How do I forgive my husband after the affair? I can’t look at him, much less let him touch me. How do I trust him after he cheated on me? I want to forgive and move on but it’s so hard.” If you truly want to forgive and rebuild trust in your marriage, you will. Forgiveness and trust are choices that you have to make. You may have to choose to forgive your husband every single day – or even every couple of hours at first. But eventually, it does get easier.
“Forgiveness doesn’t mean agreeing with, condoning, or even liking what has happened,” says Iyanla Vanzant, author of Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything. “Forgiveness means letting go and knowing that – regardless of how challenging, frightening, or difficult an experience may seem – everything is just as it needs to be in order for you to grow and learn. When you focus on how things “should” be, you deny the presence and power of love.”
Give yourself time. Learning how to forgive and rebuild trust is a process that doesn’t happen quickly. After an affair, both you and your husband may feel confused and insecure, anxious and suspicious. It’s impossible for your marriage to go back to the way it was. Both you and your husband are different now, and so is your relationship.
It’s also important to remember that forgiving your husband after cheated doesn’t mean you have to stay married. Forgiveness is for your emotional and spiritual health. Learning how to forgive and rebuild trust isn’t for your marriage or your husband’s sake. It’s for you. Whether or not your marriage survives, it’s important for your own heart, spirit and soul to learn accept this betrayal.
Forgiving and Rebuilding Trust After an Affair
Men and women stay in bad marriages because they fear they’ll never find love again. If your self-esteem is low, find ways to boost your self-image without relying on your husband or marriage. Get as emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy as you can. The healthier you are, the more centered and calm you’ll be. The healthier you are, the easier all your decisions in life will be – including the most difficult ones. Deciding if you should forgive your husband after an affair and rebuild trust may now be the most important decision you’ll ever make in your marriage.
“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love,” says Ann Landers. “Good battle is objective and honest – never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partners.”
Learn why your husband cheated
One of the first steps to forgiveness is to find out why your husband had an affair. As painful as it is, knowing the reason he sought intimacy outside your marriage can help you rebuild trust. Books like The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It are helpful because they give an objective perspective (which you and your husband don’t necessarily have).
If your husband cheated because he wasn’t getting something from you or your marriage, then it may be easier to trust him again because you can change your relationship. Change is possible. It isn’t easy, but you can work together to rebuild your marriage. But, if your husband cheated because he was bored or it’s in his nature to roam, then it’s more difficult to trust him. The reason he cheated may help you decide if you can rebuild trust in your relationship.
If you can’t understand why your husband had the affair, read 8 Reasons Why People Cheat in Relationships.
