pjmedia.com
“You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don’t FA with Florida Man’s car.” — Jim Croce, possibly.
New York Man was visiting his Summerland Key vacation home earlier this month and decided to hit the Winn-Dixie one night “to pick up some coffee and Key lime pie,” as he told his arresting officer two days later. Key lime pie is not a controlled substance in Florida — thank goodness — but keying somebody’s car for having a “Let’s Go Brandon” sticker is.
What New York Man, later identified as Richard Philip Brothers, 63, of Syracuse, didn’t know was that he’d been caught on video doing his dirty deed in the Winn-Dixie parking lot. The sheriff’s deputy showed up well-prepared, with his Miranda warning card and the surveillance video ready to go.
“Do you remember what you did when you walked out of Winn-Dixie,” the cop asked after reading Brothers his rights, “to the green Toyota Tundra?”
“I walked by a truck, yeah.”
“What did you do to it?”
“I scratched it… I guess [the Brandon sticker] infuriated me… Yeah, that’s the only reason I did it.”
Florida Man is pressing charges of criminal mischief, thank you very much, which is a third-degree felony and punishable by up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine. If Brothers were to get the book thrown at him, he’d be getting out in plenty of time to see Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis win the presidency near the end of Donald Trump’s second term…
READ FULL ARTICLE HERE… (pjmedia.com)
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